Self destruction is a broad subject matter and i found a few articles to help me to define it abit better:
We are self destructive when we use drugs in an attempt to control our emotions. There is no mind-altering drug which does not have some harmful physical effect.
Eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse are easily recognizable self destructive behaviors. But self destructive patterns are not always so obvious, nor are their causes always easy to understand.
We are self destructive when we spend beyond our means; when we are sexual in ways that cause us to lose self respect; when we keep ourselves in personal relationships that cause us to feel inferior, abused, or taken advantage of.
We are self destructive when we neglect our bodies and do not give them rest and exercise; we are self destructive when we drive ourselves, overworking or over exercising to please others or to make ourselves feel okay.
We are self destructive when we stifle our legitimate angers; when we turn our disappointments into contempt for ourselves; when we avoid attempting our ambitions because we will not accomplish them perfectly.
We are self destructive when we make others responsible for our lives,
by blaming "them"
by an attitude of helplessness
by believing and behaving as if we have no capacity to change or to manage our own lives effectively and pleasurably.
As women we are especially vulnerable to self destructive behavior which has its roots in the sense of shame. Because we are sometimes ashamed of the simple fact of being women!
We can feel shame about our bodies
"I'm not pretty enough, or thin enough." "My body is dirty because of my sexuality."
Shame of competence
I'm stupid." "If I try I'll mess it up." "Some things I'll never be good at; I'm just a female."
Shame in relationships
"How can I expect anybody to like me, I'm such a witch!" "People think I'm foolish when I try to say anything." "Who could love me, I'm so awful?"
Shame about our own character
"Why try? " "I'm flawed." "I'm disgusting." "I'm worthless." I'm powerless."
Addictions, compulsions, all the forms of self destructive behavior have the perverse function to numb shame. When we are caught in self destructive tangles, we forget to feel badly about ourselves -- for the moment.
- Psychologist: "Have you ever deliberately harmed yourself by cutting?"
- My response: "Only when I couldn't afford a tattoo or a piercing."
- Psychologist: "But that's..."
My response: "exactly the same sort of pain, it's just more socially acceptable. People don't look at you like
some sort of messed up freak.
Psychologist: "I'd never considered that."
Self destructive behaviour is more common than anyone realises. And it doesn't just take the form of cutting one's skin with a sharp blade. There are many different ways to be self destructive, some are just more obvious than others. I'm going to try and run through some of the different ways people self-destruct. Keep in mind, I'm not a psychologist, I'm just going with what I've learned from doing it myself and being there when people close to me went through it as well.
What makes some of these things difficult to detect is that some people do them for different reasons other than to be self destructive. I'm not going to go into the reasons why people become self destructive, as I think that other advice on minti well and truely covers that, I'm just pointing out some things that even my psychiatrist missed, and show how easily it can be missed or misinterpreted. There are many complex reasons as to why anyone does anything.
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