Live through this - long, long thoughts (1)

Carol Queen - writer, editor, guest speaker and co-founder and executive director of 'the sex centre'
Carol's story tells about her life growing up and how she had taught herself that her first sexual experience would change her life, how it would be amazing and take her out of the small town she grew up in. However it speaks about how she used to write about getting out and getting away from there, writing her inner most secrets in a journal which she hid. It then speaks of her first sexual experience, when she lost her virginity. And how while she thought she knew everything she needed to know about sex. she didnt. and she realised just how little she did know. Following this experience she realised that they didnt use a condom, and she couldnt get to a doctors to take the morning after pill. She realised that the one thing she thought would make her life so much better could actually be the one thing to tear her life apart if she had become a teenage mum. From this, feeling that she had no where to turn, no one to talk to, and a life that surely would be ruined if she had had a child at such a young age and in a small town like that, that she contemplated suicide. She got to the point of working out the details of how, and how likely it was to work. Till it come to the point of writing the letter. And this is what stopped her, sitting down and just writing, writing about all that had happened to her, pouring her heart into this book, for as long as she sat there writing she couldnt be jumping out of her window. Now, she looks back and sees that yes her first time did change her life, because it lead her to learn more about sex and how as humans we see it, and it also lead her into writing, which is now her biggest success to date.