Film Practical- 20second clip

Leading on from looking at the work of Dali i desided to create a small clip. Here it is an extreame close up of an eye, often used in dali's work. I desided to work upon a quote that i found on a selfharming website by a suffourer stateing 'Self harming is almost like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute your fine, the next your uncontrolable. It's like there is a beast with in you.' Sadly i cant find a link back to the original post. Here is the video i created:

i filmed it in a few takes, with obviously the last take being with white out contact lenses. The text was added at the last min and while i like it, i still think it could be better. Originally the second eye wasnt ment to be watery, but because of troubles putting the lenses in... however i think i prefer it now as it looks like crying and i like the way the makeup has run.  I like the close up nicely tho i had to slightly adjust the second clip to match up with the first so that it is consistant. I also cut up the first clip using the razor and then sped up and slowed down sections of the eye movement which i also like because it still looks seemless. I would change the text. its plain and boring and now that its done i think it distracts. I wasnt really sure what to do with sound. it is something i will have to look into more. I also turned the footage b/w when it was originally shot in colour.